Thursday, May 4, 2017

Meeting Glenn Beck

            Although I met Glenn Beck years ago (and before I started my “Religious Antagonist” series) I thought that this little story could still be of some interest. Especially since Glenn Beck has become such a target in the secular community.…but I guess that’s what you get for trying to appease right-wing conservatives; you’ve got to be crazier than they are.

            Before I get started, let me just say that my biggest issue with Glenn Beck isn’t that he’s an obnoxious idiot or that he’s a converted mormon….(seriously, you have to question anyone’s sanity when they would actually CONVERT as an adult to the LDS church. Unless it’s for pussy, that’s the only valid reason to convert to mormonism the way I see it.) No, my biggest issue with Glenn Beck is that he hosts his show on a network called “Fox News” – which insinuates what Glenn Beck does is news…which it certainly is not. Glenn Beck (along with O’Reilly) host “opinion shows” where they discuss perspectives on current events….which is certainly not news. If doctors and lawyers have to take an oath before the begin practice; why shouldn’t journalists?

            So, a few years ago I was living in Washington and working at a special events center. The facility hosted comedians, symphonies and touring public speakers. I was part of the operations crew that set-up for events and worked behind the scenes. Glenn Beck was on a national tour promoting his book called “The Christmas Sweater” which was a spoken word tour of Glenn literally capitalizing on his mother’s apparent suicide. (Insert here a joke about Glenn Beck’s mother not even wanting to live in a world where her son has a career.)

            I remember watching him sound check and being impressed at how he was able to get “choked up” at certain points; cued with his lights and sound effects of course. On a positive note, I will mention that his show did not sell-out – but he offered free tickets to the general public if they donated food to a local homeless shelter. That was very nice of him.

            After the show, we were told that Glenn Beck had left the facility and we started cleaning out his dressing room. Glenn had a special request in his rider, asking for whipped cream and strawberries. Being a fan myself, I gladly dug into what was left and started mashing my face full of the leftover fruit and whipped cream. I think there was probably another guy or two in the room cleaning up with me, when Glenn Beck himself turned the corner and I came face-to-face with him; my mouth completely stuffed with his strawberries.


            I kind of panicked as my mouth was too full to really say anything. Glenn must have seen the panic in my eyes – and told me it was cool. He patted my shoulder, dipped a strawberry himself into the whipped cream – grabbed a small case from under a table and was gone. I think he had some kind of assistant with him as well…but as you can imagine, I was just concerned about him losing his shit and freaking out on me as I’m mowing down on his food.

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